| Long story short... |
[22 Jul 2005|10:29pm] |
Long story short, the last few days have been kinda interesting... which ill update later when im a little more sober... but i went to tijuana mexico, 3 strip clubs, and santa monica... got some "bondage boots" as two people have called them...
So yea... and in one of those stories involves a midget in a spiderman outfit...
to be continued....
Jess
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| Im still alive... I think... |
[14 Jul 2005|10:08pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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Well, I realize that some of you may think that i have fallen off the edge of the world since i havent been online or even in contact with almost anyone for nearly two months. Rest asure, I am still here. Well, not really "here" like home, I am still in Southern California, in the middle of the fucking desert... I do get to go home in two weeks though... which is good, i really miss my friends and family (shocking, i know).
It hasnt been all bad out here though, been working a whole lot, met some nice people, made a few wrong choices, but other than that its okay.
Here is a short list of things that i have been doing to pass the time out here... Welding and other metal work (which i really enjoy), painting crown molding and baseboards, roofing, concrete work, cleaning up leaves, hanging drywall, wraping the outside of a house with tar paper and chicken wire (really fucking sucks)... anyways, im sure that im leaving out a few things, but it isnt really important...
As for the other parts of my life, i really miss a couple certain people back home. I think that a really good friend of mine and I are drifting farther apart... i seem to only annoy him now, which i dont mean to do. Been fighting with the friend that i am working for and staying with in California, i knew that would happen, im just suprised taht we havent killed one another yet...
Anyways, after i leave here i get to go back home and take care of a lot of shit, like doctors and moving, and whatnot like getting ready to start back to school... blah...
For now im going to end my entry, only because i have to get up in a few hours to work... So, night night all... ill try to write again soon.
Jess
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| Update... |
[01 Jun 2005|11:33pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Decemberists |
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Well, I guess it is about time to update this thing... It has been a while.
A lot has happend in the last few months. I finished this semester in school, passed, yay! blah...
I went to seattle to visit a friend and see star wars ep. 3. It rocked my face off. Other than that it was a good trip, star wars monopoly, walking around seattle, hanging out, watching Deadwood, etc.:)
After that I have been dealing, on and off, with doctors. Grrrr... They upped my medication, but good news is that i am still outta the cast/brace and walking fairly normal, aside from a little pain every now and then.
I am not seeing anyone right now, at least not exclusively. I do kinda like someone though, but I am still not wanting to be tied down anywhere... at least not in that way:) And I am still wanting a girlfriend really bad, but i dont know if i can forsee that happening anytime soon... Oh well, i am in no rush.
In about 5 days i am heading off to california to work for about a month and a half or so... I am excited because i actually do like to work, it makes me feel like i have a purpose in life. But i am also a little nervous being away from everything i know for that long. Oh well, for those of you who know me know that even when i am nervous about new things i still jump in headfirst with a blindfold and usually come out okay:)
Changed my major to wildlife science... yay for the animals!:P
Speaking of animals, my snakes are doing great. Dante is still a little sad about shamus being gone, but she has finally started eating, as has cyris. So they are both doing well, and as for Ty, she is doing just fine, eating enough for 5 snakes:) Rusty, pepper and tigger are well too, fat and happy with the rents...
The rents... due to my lack of compassion I must be blunt... they need to get a divorce.
Well, I hope it wont be long before i can update again, but for now, this is all i really would like to say.
Jess
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| My Spring Break.... |
[03 Apr 2005|07:58pm] |
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Well, I just got back from my spring break trip... whoa... im exausted... In a nutshell... Left Monday afternoon, camped in Apalachacola National Forest in Florida for 2 nights Canoed with manatees, saw lots of gators and raptors, decided to change plans for the week and went to the everglades instead... saw some cool wildlife, then went to key west for a day... round about way... ended up drunk off my ass,kicked outta 2 bars, and one drag show bar and partying with a bunch of strippers, this irish dude, and a bunch of other people... then got back to camp around 11am the next morning... a lot more happend, but that is in a nutshell.... oh yea, drove back today...
( The whole story... )
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| Im fucked up.... |
[21 Mar 2005|10:07pm] |
And not in a good way....
As of a few minutes ago i found out that i have 3 doctor appointments in april in a span of less than a week.
And that isnt including my 2-3 times a week physical therapy appointments...
will it ever end???
Im bummed...
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| Long overdue update... |
[20 Mar 2005|03:10pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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It has been a while since i last updated my journal so bear with me folks....
Well, i will turn 20 in about 9 days, kinda a pointless age... blah.
Im still single, not sure im looking to change that, but it would kinda be nice to have someone around everyonce in a while that didnt want anything too committed. I was seeing someone for about a month and a half but he went loony tunes, so that ended kinda quick.
My friend from Cali. came to visit last week, we hung out and went camping in florida. The weather was nice. He went back early because i was really busy with school and such.
I am about to kill my KotOR 2 game, the bugs in it really pissed me off... I know im a nerd.
They still dont know what to do about my leg, the doctor just said to deal with the pain and continue physical therapy for the next 6 months.
Spring break is coming up and I think that my ex gf, her new bf, and I will be taking a camping trip to florida and going to different forests and whatnot... It will be nice to be away from conventional things for a while.
I am in a funk. Dont know why.
School sucks, but i think ill survive. I have 3 exams next week. Bah!
Dante, Cyris, Shamus, and Ty are all doing good. Tegu is spastic as ever but such a cutie:) He is sleeping in today.
Watched spongebob the movie, that movie is messed up, but funny.
Anyways, im gonna get back to my movie and being lazy on the couch. I think im going to clean and study later today if i can find the motivation...
Jess
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| blah,... |
[16 Feb 2005|11:20am] |
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music |
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Rammstein - Asche Zu Ashe |
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I saw this in another LJ.... it rocks:)
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
In other news, I wont mention a name, but someone i know went fucking psycho this weekend... i thought i knew this person, but it turns out they are nuts. And in this person's psychotic episode they violated my privacy which was a very very bad idea... Helpful hint of advice to anyone who reads this or knows me... THE WORST thing you can do is piss me off... ill just leave it at that for now...
Helped a friend move yesterday. Now im really sore.
KotOR II came out about a week ago... i cant wait to play it:)
My car is in the shop and now im just working on getting it out... it may take a while though... I was told it would be around or a little less than 2 grand to get it fixed, but they keep finding more things wrong with it... hopefully ill hear about it soon... till then, im still driving the 'burb.
School is going great, i have a B in Accounting, a B in Microecon., and an A in World Lit., as for Business law, our exam is in 6 days... and Theatre... fuck theatre... i can make good grades in all my other classes, which are required, but not Theater, which is an elective!!!
Anyways, Physical therapy is soon, so im gonna run....
Jess
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| Interview... |
[10 Feb 2005|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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Radio: Tonic- "Open up your eyes" |
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Today has been a busy day... productive, but busy, and its only almost 4pm...
This morning i got up, took my microecon. exam (i think i did well, least i hope)
Then I went to a friends place to fix her computer AGAIN...
Went to Hastings, rented Hamlet (school reasons)
Had a 30 minute break
Went to Haley Center to meet with a company about a summer internship.
They were really nice, somehow they got my name and number, still not sure how. I went there for an interview to see if i would be qualified and learn about the company. Very good oportunities. Sounded like it would be a lot of work but i know if i chose to do it i would do well. Anyways, I qualified, along with about 3 other people. And tomorrow I have a follow up interview to find out if i get the job. I am still keeping my options open, it just depends on the benefits of other options i suppose.
anyways, im about to watch Hamlet, then go take an exam in my theatre class. And after that i have homework to do before tomorrow....
i might take a nap... dont know....
Jess
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| Today... |
[08 Feb 2005|12:45pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
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Birdies yelling in the background.... |
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Heya,
Right now I am at the Raptor Center taking a break. Did a lot of bloodwork this morning for several birds. I think we will be releasing 6 redtail hawks within the week, this is really great because orphan season is arriving fast and we will more than likely have nearly 100 birds at one time... that may be over estimating a little, but i wouldnt be suprised... Not that anyone really reads this thing or much less even cares.
Anyways, the other night i was awake at 3 am... as usual, i dont sleep much anymore... and i was thinking. I started writing, and in my writing i was able to say goodbye to some people that i never got a chance to and without that closure i was lacking something in life. After i wrote, i felt more at peace, i mean, i know that nothing changed really and those people i said goodbye to or said my peace with on paper, they will never be the wiser. But after i wrote i began to do some more thinking. I thought, you know, I am going to get my life together and i am going to be happy. I know i can do it, it is just a matter of finding the motivation.
As for my leg... I seem to be progressing, which is good. I have been hurting a lot but i am walking somewhat again without my cast/boot. I go to physical therapy several times a week now, that really takes a lot outta me, but i am determined. And i really dont wanna have surgery and have my summer ruined. Even if i do get walking normal again i will still be without one ligament in my ankle, and will always have to keep it in shape because it will always be somewhat vulnerable to reinjure.
Anyways, that is enough of my overzealous talking...
One other thing though, i have been wondering if i try too hard to make friends and keep them... sometimes i feel like i do and i wish that i didnt have to. I just always want to make people happy. I dont know, if anyone reads this, got any suggestions?
Well, that is all for now... KotOR comes out today!!! and Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines is amazing! I totally recommend it to anyone and everyone.
Jess
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| Good God Why.... |
[06 Feb 2005|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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Elliot Smith |
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Why do I still care so much for someone who I fought so hard to leave behind many months ago? Why is everyone i meet being compared to you? Why do you haunt me? Its not your fault... This i know, i just wish i could fully move one with my life. I loved you so much and all you did was spit on the ashes that were left of my heart... Why did you never see, it was there, but you just ignored it. That probably hurt more than anything. All i wanted was to be seen by you... just a small bit of your glance... and why do i still fight for that even after so long? I want to be free... There is a new glimmer in my eye that burns brighter than i thought could be possible... now let your fire die and cut the strings... Tell me you love me, tell my you hate me, tell me sometime... the silence is scalding me.
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[24 Jan 2005|08:03pm] |
hey,
Well, this friday i go to birmingham to find out if i will have to have surgery on my foot. Its kinda funny, i say "if" like it might not happen... anyways, im pretty down about that.
Im bringing someone home to meet my parents, i have never, since i started college, taken anyone home to meet them, im a little nervous.
I am seriously considering leaving the raptor center, a part of me doesnt want to but a part of me says that it might be time to move on to other things. And on that note, i may be joining a LARP (Live Action Role Playing) game here in town. So far, the people i have been in contact with about it have been incredibly nice and welcoming. Im a little nervous, but they have already been very helpful and that has put me more at ease. I am also thinking of joinging some other campus organizations that i have heard about. I just have to find the time.
I am still kinda sick, but hopefully it will pass soon.
A few days ago I finally said goodbye once and for all to my ex fiance. I will always care about him but i can not and will not let him drag me down anymore with trying to make me feel bad about leaving him. I was not the cause of his life being miserable, and i hope that one day he can learn to be happy without someone always having to be there. I say that like i know what im talking about... I am still working on the whole being happy by myself thing, but in the last year and a half i have come a long long way in the direction that i want to be.
Eric and beca are exclusive now... *rolls eyes* i wonder how long that will last... i wish the best for them, but im not sure it is the right path for them, at least not right now.
I am thinking about finding a girl friend. and i know that i could probably find one if i just looked, but i dont think i have the energy right now, with being sick and probably having surgery... *mumbles* fucking doctors...
Anyways, the snakies are doing great... Dante's eye is all the way better and she is really happy. She has turned into an attention junkey:) Shamus is growing a little, he shed last week and is always curled up around Dante. Ty shed last night and is doing good, she is eating everything she can get ahold of:)
The turtles will be released soon... They are getting way too big and i think it is time for them to go back to the wild.
I was thinking about my dog the last few days, i really miss him... I cant wait to see him this weekend.
As for school, it is pretty demanding but tolerable...
That is all for now...
Jess
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| can i have a break? |
[18 Jan 2005|05:11pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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i know that i dont really have much to complain about in my life, there are a lot of good things that are happening. But it seems like im getting a little overwhelmed over the little things. Today i got a flat tire... that really sucks. It is just one things after another with my car. I need to get a job but i dont know how to find the time. School is going to be very demanding this semester and if i end up having to have surgery on my foot i dont know how im going to stay caught up. its just kinda depressing. Eric's last day is this friday, and its just not fair at all.
I know all i have to do is get things in perspective, but sometimes that is just kinda hard...
Anyways, that is just my griping for the time being... blah...
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| Short and Sweet... |
[11 Jan 2005|03:19am] |
hey,
This post will most likely be short considering it is almost 3:30 am and i have class in a few hours.
School starts tomorrow... that blows serious monkey balls.
My snakes are happy with their new homes and I will be finding a new home for my turtles soon.
I have been really busy lately, so all of you who have been trying to get in touch with me, no i am not ignoring you, i have just been preoccupied.
Things are going good at the Raptor Center. I am learning to train birds, which is actually much harder than it seems.
I met someone recently. It is strange, I can honestly say that he interests me to the point of I could spend days around him and not get bored. He is really interesting to talk to. And in the past, people I have met have come and gone, mainly because of my attention span I suppose. I tend to get bored really easy and loose interest fairly quickly. And no, for those of you who are in my life now, it doesnt apply to you. But this person has captured my attention like no one has in a long time. I dont know how to explain it, and im sure this makes no sense... Not that anyone really reads my journal anyways. I will have more to write on this subject later.
I cant sleep... this really sucks...
I havent eaten since sunday afternoon...
I think I might be entering a point in my life that I thought would never happen... while it is in a way new, im also nervous, but excited as well.
Only like a month or so till KOTOR 2 comes out for PC!!! Yea, im a nerd, deal with it:)
I think im gonna go try to get some sleep... doubt it will work, but i need to try.
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| bwuh??? |
[04 Jan 2005|12:55am] |
A friend of mine that i grew up with and have known for about 19 years is getting married in March. She is my age... I dont know, for a while i thought that i would be okay with getting married young, then i realized that i needed some time to get to know myself first. Well i havent really been with anyone serious, besides physically, in a year (give or take). Well, now i think i know myself, but im not sure what I want, and hearing that my friend is getting married has got me thinking... about what im not sure yet, maybe ill know more later.
I need something profound to happen in my life, either that or another tattoo...
mmm.... pain.... *evil grin*
anyways, ill update later, time for me to go to bed, i gotta get up early and see if my car is fixed and if ill have to sell my soul to get it back:)
Jess
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| Out of Town, Out of Mind... |
[24 Dec 2004|04:26pm] |
Heyas...
Well, Im in Birmingham right now... about to go to church.... yea, i know, the ones of you who know me are thinking, what the hell... As part of my gift to my parents for xmas, i told them i would go to church with them...
Anyways, things arent too bad here, did the sit down talking kinda thing with my mom, i think she is going to let me stay in school. Im getting along fairly well with my dad. Tomorrow im off to Georgia with my mom and grandmother to visit my cousins, i miss them. then later on in the week my bro and dad will come and join us.
Then I come back, go to the orthopedist about my ankle, and then to the psychiatrist, then back to auburn.
My friend from california came to visit for a few days, that was pretty fun, i think he enjoyed it here... and finally someone no from here saw that it isnt like ethiopia in alabama:) Ill talk about his trip here more later when i have more time...
Dante and Shamus (snakes) are doing well:) i brought them home with me over the break and my dad seems to really like Dante. Also, I saw wes today, he was actually very nice, we had a good talk and we to Petco and BooksAMillion.
Okay, well Im off...
Jess
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| Let's Recap, Shall We.... |
[14 Dec 2004|03:42am] |
Lets see, its finals week, I botched up one of my finals, microeconomics, and now my parents are threatening to take me outta school. Not only that, but my mom said that she wouldnt want me living back at home either... So, if i get taken outta school, ill have to move outta my apartment, and not be able to go home...
Oh, also, my mom hasnt even told my father about my grade in that class, mind you passed the class. So, when he finds out, all hell will be brought down around me, he will... yet again, break me mentally, although im not sure about physically anymore... but honestly, i would rather go back to physical pain than than the other.
Other than that, I have a good friend flying in from Cali. in about 2 and a half days:)
I helped Doc put up her Xmas tree the other night... Been playing Vampire the Masquerade: Redemption.... Least till KOTOR 2 comes out:) Im such a nerd:)
My snake finally ate after about 2 months, Doc put her on some eye drops to take care of some gunk on her eye. She didnt like that much and is being a bit bity... Dante (My snake) not Doc:P
Finals will be over Wednesday....
Gotta clean, do laundry, go to the store... I need some free time.... now... Also, sleep would be nice too... Im still not sleeping very much lately.
Had one of the worst breakdowns since I was 13 the other day. That was nice, I always like to be reminded of old time... *grumbles*
Im gonna go back to watching more episodes of Queer as Folk.... Night night...
Oh yea, if anyone knows anything about a comedian/writer named Steven Banks... let me know...
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| Insomniac... |
[03 Dec 2004|05:29am] |
once again... no sleep the entire night... i think i have had 12 hours of sleep in the last 5 days...
Now im off to deal with a little 3 year old for a day and a half...
I still have a black eye and a gash under my right eye and a cut on my left eyelid...
Isnt life grand?
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| Karma |
[02 Dec 2004|01:33am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Toad the Wet Sprocket |
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Well... It has been quite some time since I last updated my LJ. Things have been kinda crazy lately. And the majority of those things have led me to question my karma.
In the past few years I have done some things that I can say I am not too proud of and lost some major karma points. But since then I have been doing my best to turn my life around.
I have been dedicating more time to my birds, mainly because that seemed to be the only thing that really made me happy for a while. Soon, I'll be advancing at the Raptor Center and taking on more responsibilities. In a way im looking forward to it.
I met this guy a few weeks ago, he is really nice, I feel comfortable talking to him and being around him. But, because I became so comfortable so quickly, im questioning my judgement and that is making me kind of nervous. But I will try my best to not do what I usually do when I get nervous about a guy, run away, and just play it by ear and not let my guard too far down.
I also met some other people in the past 2 months that I hope to become better friends with, they seem like really fun people.
Im working when I can, but with finals coming up and the semester coming to a close, it seems it is hard to find the time.
My pets are doing good, the snake (Dante) and the three turtles...
I think I want a girlfriend but I dont want to be restricted from seeing other people, of either gender... I dont know... I dont know what I want... I want attention... I think im hopeless...
Had 4 wisdom teeth cut out the day before Thanksgiving, that sucked major ass.
My leg is still broken.
Yesterday I got attacked by a Red tail hawk, he mauled my face up quite nicely.
Anxiety attacks are begining to occur again, and more frequently.
My parents wont leave me alone.
I cant sleep anymore, and when I do, it is always at the wrong times... Like during classes...
Now, for some good news...
I found out today that one of my close friends doesnt have cancer like the doctors thought. And he might come to visit soon.
Downloaded all 4 seasons of Queer as Folk (kick ass TV show).
I think I am going to see my cousins (Jeremy and Jason) this weekend and watch the game.
Auburn is still undefeated.
Anyways, I know no one probably even reads this, but its nice to get it out sometimes.
Well im off to lay in bed and not sleep again...
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